writing while mad

i tell people that after i'm gone, someone is going to get an earful (or an eyeful actually). i have SO many journals and anything with pages that i've turned into journals that, like i said, someone will find out a lot more about me than they intended. unless i somehow dispose of them before then which is about as likely as the proverbial flying pigs. one of the downsides of journaling your feelings is that your feelings actually do get journaled. and when i'm most likely to need an outlet is when i'm spilling over with thought. sometimes it's happy happy joy joy, others a cathartic release about something playing in my head. and then there are times when i'm downright mad. yep. when i feel like hurling those feelings at their target, sometimes (not always by any means) writing them out seems like the option that just may keep the peace. so i spill. what they did, how it made me feel, how they could've acted differently, on, on, on. oh that felt good. i can now walk back into the arena without my gloves on. and the page gets lost among all the others. until there it is, at some future date. for whatever reason it's there and i'm reading. it could be over someone long gone from my life but i'm right back in that moment, totally pissed off. and you know what? he or she really was an asshole, most likely a BIG reason why they no longer inhabit my space. i've never been one of those with a "gratitude" journal or putting any name to a space that i feel should be unbridled. except i do write down my dreams on a separate space for whatever reason. maybe it's because they are so utterly bizarre that i want them to have a place where they can exist separate from reality. but the mad gets mixed in with all the other reality, on whatever page in whatever book is handy.should probably create a journal for madness only and once released those pages need to leave at some point. either when the object of the fury is no longer around so there isn't any way those feelings can spring back to life through random page-turning. or better yet when the anger has subsided and i'm back spending good times with whoever-it-is. it's a good idea and one i should definitely implement, unfortunately it sits with al the other ideas with good intention but not enough action. how about a "good idea" journal? sounds like, well, a good idea.