working for a living





i have been so fortunate that my career has taken me to some wonderful places and even better to wonderful folks. i say IT'S taken ME because that's how i have felt about my working life. swept along by circumstance, a small or maybe larger decision or two along the way, but for the most part i've gone with the flow.

the flow took me through 4 years at a major network, 20 at a major motion picture company and now 4 and counting at one of the top feature animation companies in the world. countless lessons, friends and many bits of marketable experience later, i can emphatically say that i'm very happy with what i've accomplished and become.

with (or maybe partly because of) the career, i've forfeited my option/ability to become a mother. that choice has not weighed as heavily on me as i would have thought, mostly i feel because of the growing list of extroardinary children i've gotten to share with and contribute to along the way. my sister contributed the first two, my husband now the other two AND even a grandbaby of the cutest caliber. all of them are my family and although i don't know or have that special bond that only a mother can have, i get what i could only imagine is the same warm, amazing feeling when i look at all of them and see the little parts of their lives and growth.

because of them, my life so far has included teletubbies, pop-up video, sponge-bob, tony hawke, hannah montana, school reports on the chumash indians and grizzly bears, treasured baby blankets and stuffed animals (ank, man, a-a baby, squishy and rosie), the latest scooters and skateboards, the rebirth of weird al, stories of the boy who eats 4 pieces of chicken on "chicken day" and of all girls named "ariana", the naked brothers band, runescape, and one very wise saying: "cry me a river, build me a bridge, and GET OVER IT!".

aaaah, but i started out about work and lept to the logical absence of maternal pleasures that work has eclipsed. for me, the two haven't existed together because, i've decided, i am a perfectionist of the worst type. if i can't give my all to something, then i try to avoid it entirely. career and children - both worthy and demanding of time, energy and effort that i couldn't find a way to split, and so it goes. but i carry proudly the nickname of "tee" that children under 15 call me (even friends of friends of friends).

it's back to work now, there's reviews to write, wires to enter, journal entries to complete, credit card programs to administer, and, and, and...

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starting out


i know this process. i used to do it all the time, on paper, on keyboard, on dasher on prancer...


i also know that the pretty stuff i want to write and want you to read is sometimes hiding behind the past with its cobwebs and hurt feelings, that has nowhere to go but onto this screen before the shiny new stuff can trot out from behind. the new stuff i can be proud of, the old stuff not always.


so, i begin my journey to elude madness by clearing the cobwebs (or whatever metaphor works to describe the foggy memory bank that one keeps hidden somewhere in the lobes of the brain) and writing about family and beginnings and formations of a child born in the last months of the 1950's. someone i've grown fond of, even in my alone time, am proud of some of the time, disappointed in more times than i'd like, but always moving forward and trying to improve and re-invent.


and always, ALWAYS, eluding madness.

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