eluding madness

back-office

hello from my office. i am the manager of a very efficient and service-oriented accounts payable department. let me set the scene for you. regular office-type noises in the background, not much laughing or talking cuz hey, we're pretty darn busy. florescent lights, calendars, a few plants, guest chairs. oh yeah, and giant mounds of paper. as part of my effort to streamline and improve the department, i've come up with a few tips on how to assure excellent service from myself and my team. these i gladly pass on, without so much as a *hint* of sarcasm:

1. call every day about something minor

2. be as vague as possible when inquiring about an invoice or payment

3. assume and assert that you are the ONLY one in the WORLD that we service

4. need the same explanation over and over, and still don't understand it

5. act like you are the king/queen/god and we are low-life scum

6. know absolutely nothing about anything and don't even bother to know where to find out

7. assume that your invoice is jumping out at us from a pile of over 1,000 others saying "here i am, here i am"

8. e-mail often and copy everyone in the company directory about a $2.95 expense reimbursement

9. stand behind me until i get your minor task or request done

10. send/give us copies after copies of the same invoice/payment request over and over, by e-mail, fax, inter-office mail AND US Mail

11. mention everything we are doing "wrong" in meetings with executives, then smirk at me because my throwing YOU under the bus now would seem argumentative

12. assign the stupidest most air-headed person on your staff to be our liaison to your department

13. insist that we are the hold-up, that your invoice is sitting on our desk gathering dust, then find it on your own desk

14. make excuses about why you can't possibly get to our request because you're swamped, but assume that we are twiddling our thumbs

15. assume that we can just whip our our checkbook and write you a check and refuse to believe that there is a process involved and that it takes time

16. accuse us often of holding your invoice for our own pleasure other than because there are legitimate reasons why we can't get to it immediately

any and all of these will make our process go much more smoothly and improve our morale. i'm sure i've left out a few ways to give us incentive to handle your issue immediately, but feel free to call us and tell us how to do our jobs.

haven't i seen you somewhere before?

a wise group of women sat & watched a movie. one saw a common theme that i had apparently missed entirely. as stories get recycled with new spins and settings, they're just begging to be compared and i don't want to disappoint.

note to reader - the opinions in this blog are based solely on my personal taste, the decision of the judges is final

the official SOUND OF MUSIC vs. THE KING AND I competition begins:

King vs. Captain: point for K&I based on rank
Yul vs. Christopher: i was going to call a tie, but Yul's king is just too adorable so point for K&I
Scared woman in a new world: petrified Maria has it over brave Anna, point for SOM
Lots of children: K&I wins for most and cutest
Singing governess/teacher: SOM has it, Julie did her own vocals
Asserting dominance: King tells Anna how to behave - When I sit, you sit. When I kneel, you kneel. Et cetera, et cetera - degrading alright. Captain blows his whitle - When I want you, this is what you will hear - i'd have booted him out the door. hands down SOM
Heroine wardrobe: hello? curtain fabric? point for K&I
Scenery: no brainer, SOM's alps & old world charm over K&I's obvious painted backdrops
Slave-owners vs. Natzis: point for K&I because, well, cultural vs. maniacal
Sympathetic sidekick: Lady Thiang over Frau Schmidt based on looks alone
Villain: the Baroness is just plain snarky so vote for the King's cranky advisor
Escape plan, part 1: SOM. more tension when the VonTrapps dont come back to the stage than when Toptim doesn't
Escape plan, part 2: Toptim was caught and her boyfriend killed. point for SOMs alp-climbers
Sing-a-long energy: SOM, i just can't stay in my seat and more songs to sing along to
Defining production number: so many in SOM so point there. honorable mention for K&I's unique interpretation of an american classic with Asian style/beauty
Party grandness: K&I's ambassador dinner wins over Liesl's first ball
Star-crossed lovers theme song: sixteen going on seventeen has dancing, we kiss in the shadows doesn't so point for SOM
Boyfriend exit: Lun Tha was killed but Rolf just followed Hitler, goes to SOM
Governess/Teacher's advice for scared child(ren): my favorite things wins over whistle a happy tune for production value and singalongability
Happy ending: Captain and Maria marry, King dies. SOM
Personal connection: Grampa's hand-painted titles, main title in his OWN recognizabla hand-writing - HUGE point for SOM (and HUGE grin on my face)

Tally? King and I: 8 Sound of Music: 13

stories

last night i drank funky drinks and made sausage & peppers. love being around my niece and nephew. they're having their teenhood like i did long ago. the cycle of life. want to go to the huntington libabry but when i get there, unless i'm taking pics or reading a book i can't think of what to do. sitting here in my backyard with the flowers & dogs running around - more peaceful. no drive home, no hot car, no one place to another. time is my enemy and my friend. tanner is chewing on a stick and crunching it - holding it with his paw so it won't get away. there's always a schedule. last weekend i had one of those i don't need to be anywhere by any time type of days. like at the beachhouse. those are my favorites. telling a story on the screen reading a book that tells a story to me. stories. where would our lives be without them. how many things can tell a story. a musician tells a story with his song, composer with his note placement, tree with it's roots and branches. every grey hair tells what we've survived. i'd like to tell a story too. about finding treasure. the night before with good friends, laughing at movies and funny times, creating more funny times out of nothing. someone says something and i just lose it like when i was a teenager and my stomach would hurt from laughing. that doesn't happen very often to me, but with these folks it's easy and i feel like i can do anything at all. up at the crack of dawn and the hunt begins. nothing more amazing than being at the beach when the sun is just coming up. it's a whole different light and space. before the mobs, before the heat. i could do with a few less sandcrabs but otherwise the perfect setting. need to re-charge soon, have to call the girls & see when the next adventure will be.

dusty

is it wrong to hide out for one delicious weekend? since i have no kids, it's a definite possibility, but i am not immune to guilt over what i'm not doing. it'll all be there on monday, but i won't. i'm definitely realizing that the 9-5 (or more like 8-7) career lifestyle doesn't leave much time for life, but it keeps the house. ironic really, i can keep it but can't find time to upkeep it.

phone calls. interrupting phone calls. everyone's life in my way. so horrible, i know. i love my friends. it used to be the ones that were fun and exciting were the ones to be with. now, the zen ones are the ones i migrate to. calming, nurturing, olde worlde friends - like a cool drink of water on a hot summer day.

striving for beach and green and no noise at all. luckily my husband knows this and indulges my do-nothing time. he sees the signs, from mild sighs here and there to downright crying jags. and sometimes the universe provides and allows a wonderful weekend or two. i've realized just how much this downtime means. pajama weekend working on something fun and cathartic, soul-searching ones where i write, read and indulge my mind, lolling with girlfriends with no schedule or pulling forces.

back to the original thought - friends lives in my ear. i am so happy to have friends, just want to hang the do-not-disturb sign sometimes.

sometimes i miss who i used to be. there was a me and whatever that meant, it was. there were all sorts of them. everywhere and nowhere. inside and outside myself. so many spaces in time, so much life.

where would i be the next day? remorseful? sorry? satisfied? proud? happy? comfortable? or in hiding. little sanctuary areas in different homes and states. a bench here, a tree there, a corner somewhere else. and people. those who represented safety and care. when they're gone, there are less places to hide.

when i left, the familiar couldn't always follow. people and places are still where they were. and i'm gone. more building blocks, miles and minutes. more posessions and people, accomplishments and things undone. life looks different and sometimes alarmingly so. small people are big people, young people are old people, some hardly recognizable as the ones i knew before.

a fully working memory holds many scenes, feelings and atmospheres. rich-smelling kitchens, aches both heart and body, lonely nights, fun parties, quiet moments, hand-holding, lace dresses, garden corners, first steps and first kisses, neighborhoods, cars, schools and classes, something that was or felt totally normal that has gone away and won't come back. even a decade will leave and take it's fashions and familiarity with it.

and sometimes i'm left sitting, thinking, and wishing to just have a small portion of it all back. some me i left behind. if only for awhile.

simply

remember when we were kids? summer days stretched endless and if there wasn't something to do all throughout the day, choruses of "i'm booooored" brought suggestions from our moms that just didn't cut it. we didn't have electronic devices or iPods, but we had the then equivalent - card games, board games, transister radios, and BOYS. where were the cutest ones? were they outside in the street, on their skateboards? hanging out? sitting on the curb? we were always painfully aware of where they were at all times. what were they saying? (was it about us?) what were we wearing? (did they notice?) were there other girls around? (they need to pay full attention to US!) then they disappeared into their homes and we deflated. until tomorrow.

present day: the pleasures are much simpler and less adrenoline-charged. at least for me. luckily life has settled into a satisying rhythm. lazy sunday mornings are my favorite. nothing calling, nothing pressing. sitting outside on a warm day with birds singing in the trees, dogs sunning themselves nearby, quiet, peace. if a friend calls and we meet, we're in seach of a tranquil setting, a tasty meal or a movie with a few laughs and a happy ending.

that i can call my dogs over and they give me that completely satisfied doggy face, that i can look up and see a clear blue sky, that i can breathe a long sigh and know my loved ones are safe and healthy, that i can walk in and plant a warm kiss on my husband's cheek, i am very, very grateful.

personal satisfaction bears no resmeblence to that of years ago. excitement?? don't need it, thank you. wishing you peace on this st. valentines day.