just me and my hot blonde
struggling to pick up a penny, under the table, halfway into the bushes, i swear i'm picking it up just for luck. honestly. not that i really care what the folks that share the patio think - good or bad i was never one to worry about that - but more like how it made ME feel. knowing so much about folks struggling in today's economy, both here and around the globe, i do stop to think how many people would dive for that penny out of necessity. we know ALL about it all now, and i almost wish we didn't. yes, for my own sanity i'm very guilty of hiding my head in the sand, at least for awhile.
but i digress, BIG TIME. i came here to starbucks hoping to leave my blues on this patio. what better than some blog therapy. a good old-fashioned dump onto a blank screen. TRYING to avoid the edit & re-edit monsters i want to get this down "au natural". and it's really hard. typing it out is one thing, pressing that "publish blog" is yet another. writing for the reader? guilty. feeling bad about feeling bad? guilty. i worry about everything i say, write, read. we have so much, so many advantages that others don't have. i feel TOTALLY guilty expressing a mood or a feeling other than YAY! i have a job, a home, friends, family, and i try to express those thoughts i really do.
but then there comes a day like today following a night like last night. little plans that go awry, little disappointments in the grand scheme of a good life. i'm indulging that today, after this very long disclaimer, AND publishing it for the random reader to take.
so, here i am with my hot blonde (i really thought i was clever ordering that, but i'm sure i'm far from the only one) and my heated breakfast bun. ok, you can yell at me later for the sugar and cholesterol intake but day-am! therapy never tasted so good. hopefully the day will be spent with a caring hubby, good friends, and an ever-forgiving family, i KNOW i'm very lucky. call me redundant disclaimer woman. yet here i am manuevering the edge of sadness and a just plain bad mood. i'm glad i came here. a shady patio, happy people chatting, real conversations not just those "like, like, like" speaking tweens. no dangling participles, no punctuating "at" at the end of every sentence. feels good - i'm happy to have gotten this group of folks as my background noise. the strip-mall version of a neighborhood coffee house, this has been a mood-lifter on more than a few occasions.
my mind is everywhere - being the main reason i invite the monsters to polish up my jibberish before publishing - but i have to say it's starting to turn toward the light. the frivolous, the happy! mood-lifter! i'm glad i found you. AND there's a dollar tree right across the small parking lot. cheap retail therapy, here i come!
That is an awesome story. Although you clearly point out you are engrossed in a therapy session with yourself and some keys, I could not help but to enjoy every sentence of your obvious torment. I apologize, but only for my lack sensitivity.
On the other hand, your story is a story to be told. You're certainly right, for all we have we should not have a complaint exit our mouth or even enter our thought; but, we don't live others' lives, we live ours. A child on the playground who is called a name thinks his life over and he is ready to die. Well, hardly, but to him, very serious, very real, it's HIS life.
We too have "Our" life, different from others but ours nonetheless. It comes problems, frustrations, etc., as real to us as calling the little boy a bad name on the playground.
Silly @#$%!? I agree, get over yourself, but some problems are real and deserve no less attention than any other real problem.
Feeling guilty about hot buns and blondes for breakfast is one thing, and something we should all consider trying from time to time, but sharing openly your honest emotion? Never. About your writing skills? Absurd! I found your story alive, it opened the senses and demanded both thought and feeling. Serious subject to focus on with a little sugar to sweeten the sting, nicely done, nicely done indeed. Loved it. I hope your day got better and I thank you for using the lousy part of it to bring some thought and cheer to me and me-alikes. :)