it's a brand new year, time to do the resolution thing. the ones that come to mind are the same ones that fail each year so it's hard to take them seriously. this time i've decided to pick only those that come directly from mistakes i've made and lessons i've learned in the old year.

take friendships for example. good ones, bad ones, old ones, new ones - i'm sorting through them all. a friendship can end just because it's time. no, really, it can and should. no need to hold on after it's become an obligation and listening to the opinions of others on whether to keep or dump just confuses things. when you're not having fun anymore it's time to go.

friends who listen as well as talk are worth their weight in brownies. if someone dominates your time together with every detail of their life it can feel like watching a bad television show when the remote is just out of reach. asking how you're doing then talking over your answer just doesn't spell sincerity.

according to the dictionary, there IS a difference. a FRIEND is a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. an ACQUAINTANCE is someone recognized by sight or someone known, but not intimately. for me, the line that separates the two has been as defined as a shadow. it's time to trace over shadows with an extra bold sharpie. after years of making wonderful friends out of co-workers, i've come to realize those times are more than over. with responsibility comes great clarity: co-workers are aquaintances and should remain that way. the lessons i've learned from my mistakes in that area could fill lake tahoe.

BALANCE is a word that's kicked around alot lately. work / home / school / friends / family / yeesh! our lives are so much fuller than they used to be and i haven't even begun to master the art of anything resembling balance. i'd like to make it happen, even if i have to make a time grid to do it. since goals are often financial in nature, to me that says "work harder" which can REALLY mess up this equation. instead i'd like to add "work better" as a goal this year. spending an hour on a task that can be done in 10 minutes often just has to do with brain traffic. think clearly - another goal.

give advice ONLY when asked and judge ONLY when my opinion is relevant. if it's none of my business, i'd like to keep it that way. i've spent way too much time on things that don't require my input. oh, and don't fight someone else's opinion - it's theirs to keep. as is mine.

there are always the standard goals that i just can't ignore - love with all you have. DON'T hold back if the prize is worth it, DO hold back if it's just not there. instead of strict health regimens that will last until the end of february (if i'm lucky), add more vegetables & fruit to my diet, schedule more long walks (i love those) and keep the pasta to a minimum. that last one's a killer.

schedule a chat with myself at the end of each month in pen, no cancellations allowed. that's 12 times this year to assess whether or not i've made any progress and 12 opportunities to put myself back on track.

that "life is short" has become a cliche. based on the growing number of folks who've left my life, i'd have to agree. the challenge here is to keep that in mind when things get hectic or during times when family and close friends are just plain crabby. it's hard for me to remind myself to treasure loved ones while they're here since i start bawling immediately at the thought of them gone. note to self: that's not productive so cut it out.

worry is really hard on the soul. i'd like to reset my trigger so that worrying turns into action. if i can make some preparation in case whatever i'm worried about happens, do it. if there is nothing i can do, snuff out the worry quickly. one of the loftier goals for sure, but also one of the most important ones. i heard somewhere that a 100-yr old man was asked the secret of his longevity. his answer? "when it rains, i let it". here's to letting it rain in 2012!